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Miss Baltimore Crabs[Velma](Michelle Pfeiffer)Front step "cha cha cha"Back step "cha cha cha"Side step, front stepBack and turn[Tracy](Nikki Blonsky)Oh my God Penny there's Link, LinkI can't believe I'm really here auditioning[Penny](Amanda Bynes)I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition.[Velma]Front step "cha cha cha"Back step "cha cha cha"Side step, front stepBack and...Oh Amber, look at this motley crew!This town sure has gone downhill since I was crowned[Amber](Brittany Snow)Oh, Mother not more ancient history[Velma]Oh my GodHow times have changedThese girls must be blind orCompletely derangedBut time seemed to haltWhen I was "Miss Baltimore Crabs"Amber! That move is far too dirty[Amber]Mother wake up from that dream of yours.This isn't 1930![Velma]You can laugh but life's a testDon't do this, don't do thatRemember, Mother knows best.But the crown's in the vaultFrom when I won "Miss Baltimore Crabs"[Amber]These steps are perfect ammunition[Velma]Let me show you how your mommy dearTook out the competition.Girls, go get em! Boys, let's rhumba!2-3-4-5-6-7Those poor runner-upsMight still hold some grudgesThey padded their 'cups'But I screwed the judgesThose broads thought they'd winIf a plate they would spinIn their danceNot a chance!Boys, put me down.Oh, Good morning ladies.Let's see what you've got.[Council Girls]Twist, twist, twist, twist,Mashed potato, Mambo.[Velma]Ready? Begin, on my show you'll never findA thrusting hip or bump and grind[Amber]What's that, a dance for fleas and ticks?[Velma]You should have seen my bag of tricks!Ohh I hit the stage batons ablazeWhile belting AidaAnd preparing soufflsBut that triple somersaultIs how I clinched "Miss Baltimore Crabs."Proceed...[Tammy](Hayley Podschun)Are you scared? We're on live.[Tracy]No, I'm sure I can cope![Amber]Well, this show isn't broadcastIn...[Council Girls]...Cinemascope![Velma]I never drank one chocolate maltNo desserts for "Miss Baltimore Crabs"[Amber]This one will never get a dateIn those hand-me-down clothes.[Velma]Kid, she'll never get a date'Til daddy buys her a new nose.I would say 'oy gevalt' if I wasn't"Miss Baltimore Crabs!"[Amber]Do you dance like you dress?[Link](Zac Efron)Amber there's no need to be cruel![Velma]Would you swim in an integrated pool?[Tracy]I sure would.I'm all for integration.It's the new frontier![Velma]Not in Baltimore it isn't.And may I be frank?First impressions can be toughAnd when I saw you I knew itIf your size weren't enoughYour last answer just blew it!And so, my dear so short and stoutYou'll never be "in"[Velma & Council Kids]So we're kicking you out![Velma]With your form and your faceAwww, it isn't your faultYou're just down with a case of "Miss...[Velma & Council Kids]...Baltimore...[Velma]...Crabs!"[Velma]You may go[Tracy]Um... thank you[Penny]I think they secretly liked you.[Little Inez](Taylor Parks)Hello ma'am, may I please audition[Velma & Council Kids]Of course not,But you can bow and exalt!'Cause I am "Miss Baltimore...[Velma & Council Kids]Crabs!!!"Crabs, crabs, crabs!!!
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